WWE Vintage Collection Report (10/18/09)

WWE Vintage Collection Report: 18th October 2009
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Hosted by: Mean Gene Okerlund

Welcome aboard. The Halloween theme continues this week with a look at ‘Monsters and Oddities.’ I smell me some Wrestlecrap, so watch where you step.

The show opens with former WCW booker Kevin Sullivan running through a forest wearing just trunks and boots. Welcome to WCW in 1995. With dramatic music playing in the background, Sullivan is trying to locate King Curtis Iaukea, who is demanding that Sullivan ‘come to him.’ Once teleported to a cave, Iaukea, (sporting grey paint and cobwebs) tells Sullivan to form the Dungeon of Doom, as it’s etched in stone that he defeats Hulk Hogan. Sullivan says no-one can beat Hogan, so Iaukea tells him to take the final step. Sullivan jumps through a wall and in a puff of smoke he re-appears, and is rechristened ‘The Taskmaster.’ Dressed in a red outfit, with painted on black devil horns on the top of his head, a more confident Sullivan promises to crush Hogan and the Hulkamaniacs. This was cringeworthy to watch. My Mum was in the same room as this played and it was one of those moments where you’re embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. This crap couldn’t finish quick enough for me.

Okerlund welcomes us to the show. Three matches are on hand.

WWF Championship Wrestling: 13th November 1984
Big John Studd & Ken Patera w/Bobby Heenan vs
Andre The Giant & Special Delivery Jones
Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino are the announcers. Patera gets his arm worked over at the start. Patera turns the tide on Jones with a backbreaker. Hillbilly Jim is shown scaring Heenan off from the front row, but is never identified. In the process of making the hot tag to Andre, Jones gets backdropped to the outside by Patera. Andre squashes Patera in the corner until Patera jams his knees into Andre’s back. From there Studd and Patera double team Andre with a slam and several elbows. The referee calls for the bell. Heenan produces some scissors and Patera holds Andre, as Studd cuts off a large portion of Andre’s afro hairstyle. McMahon states on two occasions that the heels are ‘raping Andre of his dignity,’ as fans pelt the ring with plastic cups and garbage. Studd and Patera hold the hair up as badges of honour after. This was a good angle. Winners by DQ: ANDRE THE GIANT & SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES.

We return to the Dungeon of Doom silliness, and Hulk Hogan has been invited to Iaukea and Sullivan’s lair. Hogan crashes through a stone dummy, and acts all confused. He asks where he is, says there are no Hulkamaniacs here and he has never been to this place before. After identifying Iaukea and Sullivan as people he knows, we are introduced to the other members of the Dungeon of Doom: Zodiac (Brutus Beefcake, who is sporting black and white face paint), Kamala, The Shark (Earthquake) and not shown on TV, Meng (Haku). Hogan says the only thing etched in stone is the legacy and immortality of Hulkamania and Iaukea and Sullivan will be buried beneath it. Sullivan waves a big stick at Hogan as he talks of his demise. Right on cue, with a puff of smoke, The Giant (Big Show) crashes through a wall knocking Hogan down. Giant boasts that his power is a ‘million times greater than the power of Hulkamania,’ and he is ‘the greatest Giant to ever walk the face of the earth.’ Giant is the ‘one true immortal.’ Cue maniacal laughs. Hogan’s bad acting was quite funny. Years later, Father James Mitchell would show Kevin Sullivan how to perform his role a lot more convincingly.

WCW Fall Brawl: September 17th 1995
War Games: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Randy Savage & Sting w/Jimmy Hart vs
The Dungeon of Doom (Zodiac, The Shark, Kamala & Meng) w/Kevin Sullivan
War Games was an original WCW concept and has been repeated by TNA to a degree in the form of Lethal Lockdown. Two teams would battle it out, split over two rings merged together, surrounded by a cage with a roof. Entrants were determined by a coin toss, with Dungeon of Doom winning to begin with a man advantage. The stipulation here was if Hogan’s team won then a member of his team would get five minutes alone with Sullivan. Hogan’s team are decked out in camouflage outfits and facepaint. Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are on commentary. This match screams WWF rejects straight off the bat. Not a good sign. Sting fights off both Shark and Zodiac. Shark prevents a Scorpion Deathlock. Just to note, in his Earthquake days, John Tenta had a tiger tattoo on his arm. To get his WCW gimmick over, he had the tattoo re-done as a Shark. God rest his soul, John Tenta did all he could to get lame duck gimmicks over. He did this to a tee during his last WWF run as the masked oddity Golga. Back to the match and Shark drops an elbow and leg onto Sting. Savage is next in and he thinks twice about suplexing Shark. Shark breaks up Savage’s boston crab on Zodiac. Sullivan, Meng and Kamala pull Sting’s arm under the cage, then Meng and Kamala do the same to Savage’s leg. Kamala comes in and Heenan says he’s at home inside a cage as it’s like being back in the jungle. Luger levels things up. Heenan speculates on one of Hogan’s team turning. Luger inadvertently clotheslines Savage when Zodiac ducks. The two had been teasing dissension beforehand and Sting has to separate the two. Meng mows through Savage, Luger and Sting with kicks and headbutts. Hogan comes in, and together with Luger throws everyone into a side of the cage. Schiavone says Hogan has brought cohesion to his team. With everyone else fighting in one ring, Hogan traps Zodiac in a camel clutch for the submission victory. Sullivan tries to bail, risking a fine and suspension, but security and Sting grab him and toss him in to Hogan. Savage gets on the mic to deliver a timely ‘Ohhhh Yeahhhh’ which was totally unexpected but very funny. A group in the front row unveil a banner which reads in big black writing ‘Hogan’s a bum.’ Heenan quips he paid someone ten bucks to do that, but this was a sign that Hogan’s popularity was dwindling and his act was stale. Hogan has his way with Sullivan, ramming him into the cage a stupid amount of times and choking him with rope. Unbeknownst to Hogan, Giant makes his way out, manhandles a referee then enters the cage and leaps over the ropes. (I’d love to see Big Show try that now). Giant throttles Hogan, then delivers a massive neck wrench, which Hogan sells on the mat. Heenan sums it up best by saying Giant ‘unscrewed his head like a cheap bottle of whisky.’ Hogan’s team rush out to tend to Hulk, while Giant and Sullivan leave with Giant screaming that ‘Hogan is through.’ Winners: TEAM HOGAN. This was a clusterfuck at times with the ring too crowded and just a bunch of moves being done. For example, Shark’s size should have been a factor but it wasn’t. He was always protected in the WWF as Earthquake, but here he was treated as just another act with a goofy gimmick. This was probably done to get the Giant over, but in doing so it hurt the match, which was lacking in heat or drama. War Games is a hard match to pull off and I can see WWE’s reluctance at bringing the concept back.

King of the Ring: June 26th 1996
The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs Mankind
The trio of Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Owen Hart are covering today’s Main Event. Mankind is already in the ring as Bearer slowly brings the lights up, and Undertaker surprises Mankind with a top rope clothesline. Taker hammers away in the corners then sends Mankind to the floor. Mankind stalks Bearer then returns inside, where Taker applies a claw, while trying to remove Mankind’s Hannibal lecter type mask. The announcers kayfabe over Mankind’s half ear, short leg and scarred arms, by saying he’s been through hell and back. Taker performs the (not so) old school rope walking spot to take us into a commercial break. We return to see Mankind send Taker into the ring steps then produce a couple of steel chairs from under the ring. Taker boots a chair into Mankind’s face. Mankind is whipped into the ring apron then backdropped onto the chair and concrete floor. Back inside, Taker cracks a chair shot across Mankind’s back as Bearer distracts the referee. Mankind counters a tombstone piledriver with a swinging neckbreaker. Following our final commercial break, Taker clotheslines Mankind to the floor. Mankind pulls Taker out, hammering him down against the ringsteps. Mankind runs around the other side of the ring and ploughs into the Deadman with a running knee. Taker gets slammed onto the concrete floor. Mankind tries a diving elbow from the ring apron, but Taker manages to use a chair as a shield. Taker then waffles Mankind with a chair shot to the head. JR screams that the chair is dented. Back inside, Mankind squeals as he desperately holds onto the ropes. Taker delivers a leaping clothesline off the ropes. Mankind counters a backbodydrop with a piledriver. 1-2-no. Mankind throws himself into the corner and pulls out chunks of his hair in frustration. Mankind dives to the mat to snatch the urn from Bearer, but Bearer sneaks up from behind on the steps to take it back. Taker slowly gets up but walks into the mandible claw. Bearer goes to hit Mankind with the urn, but Mankind pulls Taker forward to take the hit. Mankind re-applies the mandible claw and Undertaker is done for and the referee calls for the bell. Bearer cries on the outside, as Mankind looks down smiling. Back in the day, Mankind’s victory music, of an emotive piano playing was different to his sinister entrance music. This was a great match by the way. So much for WWE’s recent claim of Undertaker never submitting. Bearer would soon turn on Undertaker for real and align himself with Mankind. Okerlund reveals that Mankind would go on to pick up more victories over Undertaker than anyone in history. Winner: MANKIND.

Another ‘frightening’ edition is promised next week, as the ‘Best of WCW Halloween Havoc’ will conclude our Halloween theme.

Despite the haircut angle in our opener and a Vintage Main Event, the Dungeon of Doom madness was horrible, so I’ll give this show a thumbs down. See you next week.

P.S. If anyone would like to contribute a ‘Vintage’ banner to accompany this column at the top of the page, then do get in touch. Full name credit will be given.

Comments/praise/feedback/criticism/discussion points please direct to [email protected].